Mormonism in the past week has learned that inspite of how much members say what they think the Church expects them to say, that members are deep down struggling much more deeply with the issues within its faith. Today on Mormon Discussion we talk about the recent Race Apology both the satire apology created by Jonathon Streeter as well as the non-existent apology and missed opportunity by the LDS Church itself. We talk about how people crave and need belonging and also authenticity but how in the first half of life, the belonging trumps the authenticity and compels us to say what the systems and institutions we belong to expect us to say. And in doing so our authenticity takes a back seat. This shows its face when people believed the Church had changed its message and what follows is a change in the rhetoric around that change only to have been based on a false belief that the Church had actually shifted. We see through these recent events that the members of the Church deep down are clamoring for a shift and deeply need the healing around issues that could only have been expressed by those members believing the Church had opened up a space for them to speak out and speak up. We end by showing that this is one more evidence that this institution has shown that every single time it can choose between helping people heal and doing the right thing versus protecting its authority and narrative, that Mormonism will do the latter every single time. And along the way I express my own sorrow for my blind spots in this experience.