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Marriage on a Tightrope: 028: Fear vs. Love

Strap in for an emotional episode.  The first weekend in April was an emotional one for Kattie.  She opens up about some painful experiences and how support from Allan and her friends helped her through a difficult time.


4 thoughts on “Marriage on a Tightrope: 028: Fear vs. Love”

  1. Scenario 5: You tell them about a topic on the church website and they say, “That is not from the church or from the prophet! That is apostate! It’s a fake church website or someone must have hacked the church website to post that apostate material.”
    (Two or three breaths later they say):
    “Oh, I’ve known that for ages.” (This is the weirdest response but keeps happening to me and my wife, right out of the Twilight Zone. It’s like an MK Ultra trigger just got tripped and they are on track with the preprogramming… Verrrry weird.)

    Luckily my wife was on track before me and I followed and leap frogged her in waking up. We are both now equally disgusted in the deceptions and lack of Leader honesty in their dealings.

  2. Thanks for sharing so openly, Kattie. Yes, fear and bullying are the big problems that my wife and I see which church leaders and so many member do, teach and exemplify, in Christ’s name. It’s Pharisaic. It’s a pandemic.

    Sadly, most “christians” do the same, in Christ’s name. It does seem like Satan’s Plan. It certainly wasn’t what the real Jesus taught or what I learned from him.

  3. I loved this episode and really appreciate (and empathize with) Kattie’s tears and emotions about all of the issues that you two speak about. Especially the interaction with other TBM’s that have not peeked outside of the faith bubble. The issues and emotions are real, but people don’t like to hear about it.
    My wife is clinging to her beliefs, and recently spoke with a friend of ours that is a current Mission President. My wife covered a few of the troubling historical issues and our friend was very quick to dismiss them saying, “Those issues have been known and made public by the church my whole life.” He then put the blame on me that I had allowed unimportant issues to disrupt my testimony. It took weeks / months for me to smooth things over with my wife to get the focus back on us and our relationship verses my shift in testimony.
    I continue to attend Sacrament Meeting with her and support her in every way and calling in the church. It really is a process you have to work at in a marriage. …..Which is why your podcast is so relevant, important, and timely!
    Please keep up the great work!

  4. First, I want to say that I think you are both courageous to even be doing this podcast. To open myself and my relationship up would be a hard thing for me to do. I too am in a marriage on a tightrope. 🙂 So I admire you both for this.

    Kattie – oh how I felt your emotion. I wept with you. I’m the one out of the church but I believe it is extremely important to respect and honor every single individuals path in life if I expect them to honor mine. This is why I appreciate Allan’s approach so much. So thanks for not being the anti-guy.

    Although what that person said to you was really hard for you to hear, take it for what it is. It may be true. You may have helped someone on the journey out of the church. So be it. It’s a actually a really good thing for some people. On the other hand, you may have helped people stay in. So be it. Everyone’s journey is theirs alone and it should be that way. Sadly, in so many cases people can’t follow their heart. There isn’t one way that every person in the world should live their life. Unfortunately, so many religions (the LDS church included) try to convince you that their way is the “right” way. What if there is no right way? What if there is no wrong way? What if life is just about choices?

    The reality is you may get called in for “discipline” and if you stand your ground you may get excommunicated. The question in the grand scheme of this thing we call life, the here and now, does it matter?

    Thanks for reading and being you.

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