Dr. Julie de Azevedo Hanks joins Kattie and Allan for the second of two episodes. On this episode, she talks about the challenges of raising kids in a mixed faith marriage. Special attention is given to teenagers.
For more information, check out this article on teaching Modesty
We also mentioned two of Julie’s great books!
The Assertiveness Guide for Women
The Burnout Cure: An Emotional Survival Guide for Overwhelmed Women
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How is Julie’s position not specifically pro-church? If I have backed away from the church or left it entirely because I not only find it to be untrue but also damaging, why would I be all right with my teenage children’s uninformed participation? Only tell them if they ask? Is that honesty? It’s at least an admission on her part that the facts about the church don’t lend themselves to faith in the institution itself. I shouldn’t get into the particulars of “my journey” with them? Let’s say I agreed. Would believing church members then suddenly stop sharing their “testimonies” that the church is “true”? No. But my testimony that the church is NOT true and that it actively seeks to deceive its membership is out of bounds? Also, the fact that my child can interact with an uplifting social group is not bonus enough for me to subject my child to a worldview that teaches her things about herself and her behavior that are not only demonstrably false but also harmful. Has the thought occurred to Mrs. DeAzevedo-Hanks that religious teachings, generally speaking, are part of the reason that a book on, oh, let’s say teaching women to be assertive is necessary in the first place? I found your podcast and was hopeful that it might offer real solutions other than “don’t spoil the illusion for the kids.” Maybe that was a different episode. I’ll look. I find Julie’s position highly cynical of the world outside of Mormonism. I can’t find any group activities for my children outside of Mormonism? Yes. Yes I can. And I have. And they provide friendships, service opportunities, character development, the whole 9 yards, all WITHOUT the need for my sons and daughters to learn to fear and/or please an invisible sky wizard who knows their every thought and action and WITHOUT the need to further divide the world into usses and thems, we’s and others… I hope to whichever wizard can hear me that this podcast did not represent the best advice and counseling available to mixed-faith marriages. If I were sitting across from her in her office, would I feel like she really understood both sides? Not remotely. Can’t wait to see whether or not her next books and articles offer specific remedies for the problems created by the beloved church she doesn’t want me telling my own children the truth about, like every other book or article I’ve seen from her. Fingers crossed I guess.
The questions were really good, but I would have preferred to hear Dr. Hanks parse it out and respond to them rather than have it divided up for her.
Only help divide up the loaded question if the it wasn’t properly answered, but the answers are there… and overall very interesting responses for the many different types of mixed faith families.
Just wanted to share a lady I found that coaches on this exact thing. Got some free coaching from her. So helpful! You should interview her or something.its Ashlee at the reachable heart. So very helpful with me dealing with my husband leaving, and you guys too!! Thank you !